I have self-diagnosed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and when I saw a play-through of this game on YouTube it made me feel validated and sympathized with enough to trigger bawling. That bawling and those emotions actually used up what little "energy" I was going to attempt to use to go out to eat with my husband tonight, who was looking forward to that meal all week. There's more to that than I'll say here, but yeah, another day stuck at home (like nearly everyday).
Every single day I play this game with my broken body and life, and the difficulty of making these types of decisions (minus working, which I haven't been able to do in years,) is only fractionally represented here, (but thankfully is). Because of what little I can do, (usually less than Robin here can,) I end up showering only twice a week on average. Three times a week feels like I'm making headway, and two days in a row makes me feel more normal than such a thing warrants. Often just showering and eating is all I can do in a day, if even that, (all too often it's only eating and going to the bathroom). The energy it takes to get up and make even a simple sandwich (with, sadly, disposable dishware and silverware,) is often too much, and at times I let myself go hungry for a bit, or not get up for the bathroom for a bit, because I don't want to use up that energy. I could go on and on. We built a house half a year ago, and I've been letting it get pretty dirty so that I can instead focus on trying to set it up, (hoping to put up at least one set of curtains this weekend). Folding laundry takes a whole day when I can do that, too. Social media is too stressful and exhausting, and even more is talking on the phone to a friend (just lost my last one,) and friends of course have their own problems, which I can't deal with, (not to mention others don't want to deal with mine). And books, or games, can be too taxing, (I binge on Netflix, sadly, which is my window into the wider world and a way to watch "people" for a greater social component to my life).
Sometimes I feel paralyzed about making the right choices with pushing myself to do anything. I agonize over it. I agonize over what I can or can't do, and even after ten years of knowing something is wrong with my health I still daily accuse myself, or at question myself, of being lazy, or not loving my husband enough to try harder for his sake. But when I'm genuinely afraid of stepping into the shower for fear I won't be able to make it through to the end or of just crying through it, or I'm hanging onto the sink or counter for support as I brush my teeth or make food, or when I'm crying because I want to be and do more for my husband, or myself, and that I feel inhumane and like a needy baby, I know that I shouldn't be as hard on myself as I daily am. I feel worthless, and like a burden who should just remove herself from my husband's life so he can go and find someone better for him. Doesn't help I was emotionally abused all my youth and made to feel my only worth is in serving others selflessly. Yes, I feel suicidal because of my broken body at times, (never will though, don't worry).
But it is encouraging to finally see some understanding and sympathy for those with my struggles, or those trying to get others to be more understanding and sympathetic (like with this game). It gives me some hope that I'll be more understood, and possibly helped, rather than be called (like I have) lazy, or accused of mooching off my husband, or keeping a dirty home, or of being a crazy shut-in, or of being somehow mentally ill. It pains me so much to be like I am, and then to face those accusations, both externally and internally, just makes it so much worse.
Thank you for this game. I'm glad to know I can give people a little window into my tortured world through it.
P.S. I used to have two pet birds that I felt very guilty about not caring for properly. At times I found, to my very guilt-ridden horror, that they had been for a day or two without water or food, and at times the smell of their cage would haunt me as I breathed it in on the nearby couch, (punishing myself by not moving further away at times). I'm not that kind of person, as bad and unforgivable as that is and seems, please believe me. One of them died of old age, happy and loved, and the other we had to give away a few months later in part because of my lack of better care, but mostly because he got so loud in his grief and loneliness after the first one's death, and I knew I had to give up on pet ownership, (though it has left a hole in my life and heart). If they were truly suffering because of me I'd have given them both away sooner, but they were surprisingly happy despite my unintentional negligence in those ways. So yeah, another way in which this game resembles my health struggles. I get more lonely without a pet, and I'd love to have my own dog like I've always wanted, but I simply can't be in charge of another's well-being when I can't take care of my own or my husband's.